The Wait

So often we’re pushed to pursue our goals and reach our dreams. Start the business, ask that person out, go to college, get a job, publish the book. Then what?

Checking off boxes from a to-do list isn’t necessarily easy, but it is straightforward. Buying a home often means visiting a bunch of houses, finding a lender, and scheduling an inspection. Getting a first date usually means striking up a conversation, trading contacts, and being bold enough to ask to meet. Writing a book comes down to a cycle of writing and editing until it takes the shape it’s meant to take.

There comes the time when the goal is reached. The dream is realized. The boxes are checked and here it is, what you’ve been working so hard for – the new relationship, home, job. What’s next?

At this point, it’s much more open-ended. It reminds me of an open world video game once you beat the main storyline. There’s little side quests, plenty of treasure, and sporadic combat throughout the game’s map. But how many of us call it quits at that point?

Life is different than a video game. Many times we reach the summit not to climb back down, but to find shelter there, a new place to live. This is a chapter of our lives we’re embarking on!

When I started my counseling practice 3 years ago, I knew where I wanted to be and had a clear direction. Within a few months, it became a reality. Slowly I felt the autopilot mode of life as I was coping with a breakup, OCD that made it difficult to smile on the day, and the routine we all fall into from time to time when the passion seems to dissipate. We forget we have to add the opportunity for passion.

Taking new clients and about a year later, pursuing training in brainspotting, were ways I kept myself excited about my business and the opportunities I had to help others and grow both professionally and personally.

My book released a little over 2 months ago. It’s a dream for many to publish a book. I’ve considered many goals of writing more books such as a poetry anthology, a collection of essays about important life experiences, and a commentary on the integration of mental health and Christianity. These are all fantastic ideas and pursuits. However, a conversation with a friend revealed to me that more can be done with this book. In other words, I could capitalize and build on what I already have.

Becoming Mister Ross hasn’t sold many copies, more than I expected from primarily family and friends. But I believe Becoming Mister Ross is good enough and helpful enough to others to continue to make it my passion project. I believe its message deserves to reach further, especially among young adults, Christians, and therapists.

So I send an email here and there, a Facebook message, hoping someone will buy another copy of my book or give me a chance at a speaking engagement. Maybe my book will get big. Maybe it won’t. Either way, I have to trust God in the quiet times, the periods of waiting. It can be easy for me to forget I wrote the book and leave it entirely. This doesn’t seem like a proper way to go about marketing or respecting my work.

Instead, the race is slow and steady. It is not a sprint. A book’s value is not determined by its book launch or how many copies it sold. I believe the value of a book is based on the connection the reader makes with it.

Whatever your goal or dream that you have achieved, know that once you get there, the terrain may be foggy. The direction may seem ambiguous or confusing. This does not mean to abandon ship. Instead, stay the course, and as my former spiritual director would tell me, take the next best step.